


I loved you the same.

by Marvelous_Mouse



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: F/F, Trigger Warning: Mentions of Drowning, parallel, parallel to hill house, trigger warning: suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:55:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26963281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvelous_Mouse/pseuds/Marvelous_Mouse
Summary: On their tenth anniversary a year after Dani's death, Jamie has a supernatural encounter.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie, Hannah/Owen (Mentioned)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 178





	I loved you the same.

It’s been a year since Dani went away. If she were at Jamie’s side, hand in hand, that day would have marked their decade anniversary - ten fucking years. Jamie couldn’t help but yearn in spite. Why did she have to go so soon? She finally found stability in another soul, a life that wasn’t a plant from the garden that they built together. She tried to swallow those feelings whole, but she could only gasp down gulps of grief, not waves. She was lucky. Some people don’t get nine, Owen and Hannah had none compared to her nine. Owen will never have the life Dani and she did, which stings her secretly tender heart.

She was lucky and she knew, but she still wanted her girl back. Flowers die, slowly, after being cut at their stems, and Dani was her moonflower, slowly dying as soon as she was untethered from the manor. There were days where Jaime wished her body was pulled down into the abyss of the lake, lifeless but with the love of her life. She would probably resist the pond water drowning her still beating lungs; her heart already feeling gone - but would have fought the waters and all instincts to be with Dani. The world assumed it was a suicide, but the gardener knew that she made Dani Clayton happy and that the former teacher loved life, the beauty of it. Jamie was so scorned she only saw beauty in the immobile living, not active humans. Humans were cruel, selfish, but somehow, despite everything she’s been through, Dani managed to find the sincerity in most people, the kindness in a doomed world… Despite being doomed herself…

Jamie tugged at the ring on her finger, the metal band heavy in particular as of that day. She’s worn it so much it was as light as a ghost, but today she felt the pressure. She didn’t dare remove it. 

The woman laid in bed on her with her right hand holding her left; the day floated away from her in her depressed daze before she knew it the clock was reading ten pm. She took a sick day from her shop to tend to the flowers in her apartment, the children that could never sass back. How Dani was able to watch Miles and Flora without a single ass beating her knowledge - Flora was a babe, but Miles could have used a few squats on the ass. Dani was patient, and hell, Jamie needed to give herself some credit, so was she. Dani made her a better person at the end of the day.

She could feel the blonde at times, feeling her lips on the burn she got as a kid. There was a boiling accident when she was a kid babysitting her younger brother. It wasn’t enough for the world to scar her emotionally, but to leave a pink, wrinkled stain right below her shoulder was just icing on Owen’s cake. Thankfully Jamie Clayton was never modest or vain. It bothered her for years, but those insecurities faded, Jamie tired of carrying her own emotional burden about her fucked up family, she didn’t have time to worry about a blemish. If she was truthful there were still times where she hated it, but her wife kissed away those thoughts. She could feel those lips on her skin still, now…

Now. 

Jamie turned off her side and onto her elbows, balancing herself. There were a pair of white solid eyes on her, much different compared to the heterochromatic eyes that she had grown to love. Jamie gasped, throwing her feet over the side of the queen-sized bed and onto the flat surface. 

“Dani? Poppins…Love- Is that…?” Her voice crackled, the apparition’s eyes rolled back. The last time she saw her lover’s body was at the bottom of the lake, but at least she had her eyes. “Is that you, or is this just a dream? A nightmare to be bloody honest, showing up like this.” Ghosts were real. Jamie knew that to be true, but what was this? 

The ghost sat up, staring at her disoriented other half. Her blonde hair was tangled in some areas, curled nicely on the side. She was wearing a pink blouse, Jamie’s favorite, as it hugged her frame so nicely. The blouse was accompanied by jeans - good ol’ Dani. The ghost shut her eyes, opening them to reveal a set of hazel eyes. She lost a color years ago in the lake, and it hasn't felt right since. Many people thought the different eyes were such a genetic accomplishment, but she never felt like herself. She was back now, in death she reclaimed herself. 

“Speak to me, speak to me Dani! It’s not fair you left me FOR GOOD, now you’re here - SPEAK TO ME!”

The ghost looked sympathetically at the other. She could feel her pain like a needle to the heart. Jamie always looked in the water to see if Dani might be there looking back at her, and although Jamie didn’t know - Dani always was, but more like a shadow then a reflection.

“Dead doesn’t mean gone,”

“Don’t give me what Flora said when she was eight. You’re gone! You aren’t here - WITH ME!”

“But I am… i’m always am,” Her jersey accent was like music to the widow’s ear. “I had to leave, to protect you. I couldn’t keep her locked anymore. She was comin’ out unless… I set her free, and the only way was…”

“Don’t remind me, I know the ghost story that is our life.”

“Our story is a love story. I’m not gone, I’m not. I’m always here, with you. You can’t see me. You can’t touch, but you feel me. I know you do. I’m not gone. You have your memories. And I’m with you always.” 

Tears were swelling in Janie's eyes. “We could have had longer… Why didn’t you talk to me..?” 

“You would have told me no, and that... That wasn’t an option, baby.” Dani watched Jamie’s subtle moments, the tough as nails former groundskeeper not frighten, but aching. “Would you trade what we had? No. You and I both know that what we had was worth this pain. Especially you, c’mon Jamie, I know, you look pain in the eyes and ask what else you got?”

Jamie chuckled, mumbling unbelievable Poppins. “I loved you, more than I loved myself.”

“I loved you too, and you loved me the same.” Dani took Jamie’s face into her hands. She didn’t feel cold, nor wet, nor dead. Her hands were welcoming. “What we have is something’ really special, cause’ I feel you… I feel you in life, and death… I need you Jamie to keep going on, keep growing in this life for the both of us, I can’t now.. But you can. Live it for me, and I swear I’m here. I’m not in the mirror.”

“Where are you then?”

Dani’s face moved swiftly to kiss Jamie, her hand touching Jamie’s shoulder. Before she could make the kiss deeper, Jamie rose up from bed with open eyes. The sheets weren’t messy, she didn’t jump out of bed. Dani wasn’t beside her, but in her mind. She flew away again…

With deep breaths, Jamie reached over to touch her shoulder, along with the ghostly hand attached.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! I hope this is a good read. Bly Manor broke me. I cried so much. Hill House helped me with my grief, but this show got me hard. Anyway, I noticed (well my best friend noticed love you Lexi), some quotes were parallel to Hill House. That's where this one-shot is born. If you guys like it I might do a chapter story with Bly or Doctor Sleep/It. Thank you for reading.


End file.
